Wait for God’s best. Be assured that waiting for the right spouse and the right time to get married is worthwhile. Ask God to give you the patience you need to wait. Instead of being frustrated with where you are now in life, accept and embrace this season, making the most of the freedoms you have as a single person. Don’t rush into any relationships; pray thoroughly about them. Pray for the Holy Spirit to fill your heart with God’s love so you’ll have what you need to wait for human, romantic love.

Be careful on the Internet. Recognize that the Internet’s anonymity makes it an especially dangerous place to engage in relationships. Understand that people you communicate with online may not be who they claim to be. Avoid chat rooms or use extreme caution when participating in them. Never reveal personal information online, such as your real name, address, telephone number, or picture (either in a chat room, through e-mails or instant messages, or posting information on Facebook, Xanga, or MySpace). Don’t meet someone you’ve been chatting with online unless it’s in a public place and unless you’re accompanied by a trusted friend or family member. Set limits on how frequently you e-mail members of the opposite gender who aren’t family members. Use a filtering service to block objectionable websites. Make sure you’re always spending more time with God than you are online.

Escape emotional entanglements. Don’t seek fulfillment in the things of the world. Realize that true fulfillment is found only in God; cultivate a heart that is completely focused on Him. Live with integrity, without pretending to be someone you’re not to try to impress a potential romantic partner. Don’t be afraid to end emotionally impure relationships (ones that isolate you from God, your friends, or your family or ones in which you cross boundary lines or compromise your convictions). Ask God to give you the courage you need to start over. Accept His forgiveness for your mistakes, and embrace the grace He offers you to heal.

Embrace your first love. Remember that no one can ever love you more than Jesus Christ, your first love. Passionately pursue intimacy with Him while you wait for romance with the spouse who may be in your future. Decide to put at least as much time and energy into your relationship with Jesus as you would into a romantic relationship. Give your heart completely to Jesus to discover the greatest love of all.

Live with no regrets. Be willing to get rid of anything that is interfering with your pursuit of purity, no matter what it costs you to do so. Don’t pursue any romantic relationship until: you’re spending time with God on a daily basis, you have a list of what you’re looking for in a life partner, you have a list of things you will and won’t do in a relationship, and you have clearance from God and the authorities He has put in your life (such as your parents, pastor, or mentor) to proceed with a romantic relationship. Make the investment of faithfulness now so you’ll have the best kind of romantic relationship possible when it does come – a lasting, joyful marriage to your best friend.

Adapted from Eyes Wide Open: Avoiding the Heartbreak of Emotional Promiscuity, copyright 2007 by Brienne Murk. Published by Regal Books, a division of Gospel Light, Ventura, Ca., www.regalbooks.com.   

Brienne Murk is a college student and in her early 20s. She has been involved full time in the Christian music industry since she was a small child. With her family’s group, Myrrh, she travels around the world performing and speaking at churches, camps, conferences, conventions and crusades. Together with her sister Heather, she has developed a seminar for youth that focuses on living one’s faith in everyday life, as well as an Eyes Wide Open seminar based on this book. Her writing and speaking credits include numerous appearances on national and international TV and radio programs, and she has also conceptualized, scripted and produced a nationally syndicated radio special and a four-part teaching CD series; performed for, produced and directed four DVDs; and recorded three CDs.